Lame Retail Stores, pt 2: A&F

Our next lame retail store of interest is Abercrombie & Fitch, not least because it is at the opposite end of the lame-retail-store-spectrum, and seems to inspire the same intense brand-name loyalty that drives our peers to acquire their entire wardrobes from it. We do not understand why A&F's ad campaign consists entirely of half-naked men who remind us of baked potatoes, in that bland, starchy way. Let us note that the only people who can successfully wear this skirt weigh 90 pounds and are in 7th grade. We imagine that it could be done otherwise, if you stood up very straight, and avoided, say, sitting down, or walking very fast. And had a completely flat ass. Trapeze tops just remind us far, far too much of maternity wear. And it strikes us that this is not something people our age should be investing in.