Topshop: What Lame Retail Fashion Aspires To

We are honestly rather meh about Topshop, mostly because it is trying too hard.

Playsuits, for instance, we consider trying too hard. Topshop is virtually selling adult onesies. But not in a funny, whimsical way, either. This one reminds us of candy canes. Turbans are also something we think should be taken with a sense of humor, and those Prada models remind us of lollipops.

Also: Kate Moss. Have your young people aspire to anorexic coke-fiends designing animal print kaftans. Seriously. No one in their right mind designs animal print kaftans.

And we are sure Marilyn Manson has something to do with this, and that makes us quite literally want to retch.