Homophobia irks us. It irks us as much as the conundrum of the articulate black man - Barry Obama isn't a real black man because he isn't eating watermelon and wearing a trash bag. Oops, we mean Barry Obama is just the only black man who isn't eating watermelon and wearing a trash bag. But now we're off track. Another great reason to go to psych class: the next time you're out with four of your guy friends, remember that one in four boys has had a homosexual experience. This is the most valid statistic ever. To be completely honest, we think homosexuality is organic population control. That being said, most of them should be in China. But instead they are all on the CW showing waxy, glazed hussies how to shake their girl-booty. We mean, girl-booty, quintessentially. Does this not make sense to anyone else? And that brings us to our second subject...Waxy glazed hussies. We must first say that we are not men, and there isn't really a great difference between women and men, despite what some would like to believe. But the appeal of PCD is completely lost on us. That L.A strippers whose only talent is showing their crotches to the camera have managed to successfully pass of as, you know, human beings, sort of scares us. No, in all sincerity, we are sure these girls are human beings. We only wonder why real human beings would rather pass off as life-sized fuck-dolls. Okay, so as this mystery is about motivation, let's look at Maslow's Hierarchy of needs, which goes as follows: Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, Esteem, and Self-actualization. As you can see, Maslow was so awesome, he invented the word "Belongingness". Most would speculate that the drive behind PCD is somewhere at the top of our pyramid, most likely "Esteem," which is, according to Maslow, synonymous with "respect". We don't know anyone who gets respect from wearing gold hotpants. We don't even believe that esteem has somehow become associated with showing as much of your ass to as many people as possible. And furthermore, saying that your esteem comes from the ability to turn men on is kind of like saying it comes from the ability to be naked. Obviously, it has nothing to do with Belongingness and Love, as PCD seem to be dead set on extricating all personality, and originality, and little idiosyncrasies, and all the other things that make a person actually loved, in favor of their right to be faceless sex-puppets. But who knows? Maybe eliminating the human, personal element has something to do with the desire to please? And this is perhaps a new low in esteem and self-respect, when anyone would feel that they must first disassociate themselves from their bodies in order to be desirable. Or we could look to the bottom of the triangle and say they're whores who just want money. Which, in all probability, makes perfect sense. And we think at least one of them is a tranny.
