Happy Dad's Day, Dad!

Last minute home-made cards: a) prove that we have no foresight, and b) come from the heart, because it's better to make something crappy than nothing at all. We don't always get along with our parents, because that is simply the unspoken rule among young people. Talk to us in 10 years.
Anyway, this is our blog dedicated to our dad. Secretly, we think we have a great Dad, only you could never tell we think this, because mostly we think about ourselves. EXCLUSIVELY about ourselves. But honestly, we think we have a lot in common with our Dad. The unspoken truth about young people is that they would get along much better with their parents if they actually behaved themselves. But you didn't hear that from us.

That is Google's tribute to Father's Day. We are strangely thrilled by Google icons.

The Fashion is in the Knock-Offs

Basically, unless you are rolling in the millions, you have knock-offs in that carefully assembled closet. Your closet may actually consist of nothing but knock-offs, and who can blame you? Because no one loves a $$$$ price tag. Especially not on a t-shirt. No matter how much our love for Fashion East tempts us, our love for money is so much stronger.

All we can think when we see this is, the Barbie Girl song.

We are suckers for peace. We know we have just written an entire blog about how lame Urban Outfitters is, and we realize we are truly as bad as Nicole Richie when she says she eats food. We are sure she eats food. She probably eats one tablespoon of yogurt a day.

Banksy Does Vandalism a Favor - and Mod Art

We very publicly do not endorse vandalism. And we are not saying famous vandalism is a different story. We are only paying homage to a great artist, not his destruction of private property. Or toilet seats. Or whatever it is he's destroying. Go here for more Banksy goodness.

Topshop: What Lame Retail Fashion Aspires To

We are honestly rather meh about Topshop, mostly because it is trying too hard.

Playsuits, for instance, we consider trying too hard. Topshop is virtually selling adult onesies. But not in a funny, whimsical way, either. This one reminds us of candy canes. Turbans are also something we think should be taken with a sense of humor, and those Prada models remind us of lollipops.

Also: Kate Moss. Have your young people aspire to anorexic coke-fiends designing animal print kaftans. Seriously. No one in their right mind designs animal print kaftans.

And we are sure Marilyn Manson has something to do with this, and that makes us quite literally want to retch.

Lame Retail Stores, pt 2: A&F

Our next lame retail store of interest is Abercrombie & Fitch, not least because it is at the opposite end of the lame-retail-store-spectrum, and seems to inspire the same intense brand-name loyalty that drives our peers to acquire their entire wardrobes from it. We do not understand why A&F's ad campaign consists entirely of half-naked men who remind us of baked potatoes, in that bland, starchy way. Let us note that the only people who can successfully wear this skirt weigh 90 pounds and are in 7th grade. We imagine that it could be done otherwise, if you stood up very straight, and avoided, say, sitting down, or walking very fast. And had a completely flat ass. Trapeze tops just remind us far, far too much of maternity wear. And it strikes us that this is not something people our age should be investing in.

New Horizons: Lame Retail Stores, Urban Outfitters

We realize that this blog is becoming increasingly obsessed with celebrities and the ways they annoy us. Of course they annoy us, they're celebrities. So instead of blogging on Marilyn Manson's latest pathetic attempt to get a rise out of the public by pretending to have read Lolita, or advising the people at Spin to do themselves a favor and bury Jonathan Ames up to his neck in sand, then throw rocks at his head, as punishment for the humiliation they suffered in their last issue, we are going to blog about something entirely new and different: lame retail stores! But just to ease ourselves into this, we'll start with lame retail stores that annoy us. Let's begin by saying that every freshman we have seen this year has been outfitted entirely in Urban Outfitters. We will also say that if we see one more t-shirt with little all-over prints of bunnies, or flowers, or panda bears, or STARS, or hearts, or rainbows, or little mushrooms people with big wobbly heads, we are going to forgo the philosophy that change is the only thing you can depend on. We also hate the word "Tokidoki" .
The last time we went to the doctor, the nurse told us we had alarmingly low blood pressure. We are convinced that our blood pressure has alarmingly risen since the arrival of skinny jeans, because every time we see them, we become alarmingly angry. And we are all too ready to admit that wearing these will almost automatically label you a scene kid, much the same way wearing head-to-toe Urban Outfitters will automatically label you a tool. Also: leggings. Grr.
The moral of the story is, never let one lame retail store rule your wardrobe. Instead, acquire an eclectic wardrobe from many different lame retail stores, free of anything Sienna Miller has ever worn.